Mind Reading
There is one person’s mind we can and should read:
OUR OWN MIND
Tag: Mind
Stop Putting Ketchup in Your Coffee or We Are No Mind-Readers
I have not met anyone who put ketchup in their coffee, but I know of people who put butter in their coffee. My fav uncle did! For a long time I did not know why he did that. But being a kid, I tot my uncle should know better. So one day, I started putting butter in my drink … milo!
I tried the concoction … a rich chocolaty drink now enriched with a creamy buttery goodness! My! I’m set for life, I must have thought! This is life! Milo with butter … I’m living it!
After some years, I outgrew the milo-butter thingie though once in awhile, I would still indulge myself in it. Then one day I happen to mention this to my uncle and asked him about it. He replied that it had to do with him being a smoker and how the butter with coffee helped mask the after-taste or something.
We had such a good laugh! To think that I had been putting butter into milo even though I was never a smoker and not even drinking coffee at that!
But thinking back, it didn’t really mattered for me. Putting butter into milo was my way of connecting with my fav uncle. It was what is said “The greatest flattery of all is emulation”. We like emulating others, especially people we like or look up to. Putting butter in my milo was perhaps my way of emulating my fav uncle. It was perhaps also a literal way to be in his shoes, to know what or how he thinks. On the other hand, it was also perhaps an unconscious way to tell the world that, heck, I have no idea why he did that with the butter, but I just think he is right, ‘cos he is my uncle! Not exactly rational et al, but you gotta cut people some slack some time ya? I mean, are you gonna fault butter-in-milo?
We are no mind-readers. Most of us anyway. So sometimes we like to emulate what people do so that we can appreciate better how they feel or think. Or other times we ask them about why they do things a certain way. But it cuts both ways. Just as one may ask to know more because he cannot mind-read, like-wise the person being asked of, may not understand why the fuss over the question. If only we are all mind-readers … then … wow … this world will be quite different huh? No more lies, no more second-guessing, a lot less uncertainties.
But we are no mind-readers at the moment. We can try to develop mind-reading skills. But last I check, it’s difficult at best. There is another skill that we can develop that can help here. We can learn to be more understanding, in both counts. The person who wanted to ask the question can learn to be more understanding (hmmm … but at the first place, the question is asked because he is unable to understand!?) … and perhaps be able to not have to ask at the first place? Or the person being asked the question can be more understanding of the need to clarify?
So one day, if you see a person putting ketchup in his coffee (or laws forbid, milo!), be more understanding, maybe his fav uncle or aunty did that! And for those who put ketchup in your coffee, do have the patience to explain your little story as to why ketchup in your coffee.
We need Understanding in our daily coffee and milo. That’s what we need. And if you will, a serving of ketchup and / or butter for those who may please. Enjoi your Nutty Mocha Frappé.
Reference:
Nutty Mocha Frappé photo courtesy of The Connoisseur Concerto http://www.theconnoisseurconcerto.com/moby/cms/menu_gallery/index.html?.rand=kMBDQ1pB4W
Rational vs Emotional Types
There are rational people and there are emotional people.
Emotional people base their decisions and actions on feelings, emotions, gut feelings.
Rational people base their decisions and actions on reason and logic … or so they say.
Me thinks ….
Rational people base their decisions and actions on gut feelings, emotions and mood, but rationalises them through reason and logic.
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Emotional people just cannot be bothered to rationalise their gut feelings, emotions and mood.
I am so going to get hate mail for this post!
Before you send me your comments and thoughts (read: hate mail!), observe your emotions and what you want to write.
Cook Like a Chef!
Just because you are not working in a restaurant, it does not mean you cannot cook like a chef!
EDIT:
So yesterday I was at a neighbourhood eatery with Charles. I commented how the dish would be very different if they had sliced the cucumber thinly. Then we half commented that it is not a restaurant after all. I’m not sure if it is such a mindset or sloppiness that welded the chef’s knife yesterday, but It dawned on me that we can have such fixed mindsets at times.
We box ourselves up into fixed roles that we identify with and become limited by such identification. The only thing that comes from this is that we restrict our own growth.
But we didn’t start off this way mostly. Sometimes, it start off due to external factors. When we were young, or when we first started work, bright-eyed, we may have tried to do things and try things like there are no boundaries to what we are capable of doing. Then we hit our first brickwall. Our
first “No”. Our first “rejection”. The first “do what you are SUPPOSED to do”. There. The first block of the impenetrable stronghold of I-Cannot-Do-It is laid.
Instead of trying our best, and besting even our best, we tell ourselves “I am just an ABC, so I can/should only do XYZ”. We do that for one day, for two days, for three. We do that to ourselves for one week, for two weeks for three. We do that to ourselves for one month, for two months, for three. We do that to ourselves for years on end. In the end, we fulfill our own prophecy, that we can only do XYZ.
At some point, we unknowingly tell others that as well, that they should just stick to known territories and not try anything beyond. “Don’t rock the boat”, “Don’t spoil the market”, “The overgrowth gets trimmed”. Or so they say. So we may end up perpetuating the very negative limiting cycle that got us boxed in at the first place. But it does not have to continue this way.
Every day is a new start. Every moment, the old mind and body ceases and a new mind and body is born. With each new arising, there is a possibility of change.
Ready?
Thoughts About the Buddha’s Teachings from 5th April 2010
I received a few emails about the verse found on 5th April 2010.
There are these three unskillful types of thought. What three? Thoughts of self-esteem, thoughts of gains, honours and fame and thoughts of worrying about others.
It.72
Most of the emails expressed questions about why worrying about others is an unskillful thought. Here’s why.
Worry and concern are very similar, yet very different at the same time.
Without getting pedantic about it, being concerned about someone or something is not a bad thing. It is definitely good to care and be concerned for others, as this concern can and should lead to positive action to benefit others. However, this concern can instead lead to worry, which is the mere discursive thinking and often uncontrolled vacillations about the matter concerned.
The former is what can help others and can be driven by loving kindness and compassion, while the latter does not help the matter but preoccupies us, draining us emotionally and sometimes confuses us,
So be concerned, and actively do something about it, and not start worrying about things.
Hope this allays your concerns and you can stop worrying about it. 😉
Two Computing Books I’ve Read Before
There are many computing books I’ve read before, but there are two I thought would be interesting to share.
The first is “Mind at Play: The Psychology of Video Games” and the second is “The Inmates Are Running the Asylum: Why High Tech Products Drive Us Crazy and How to Restore the Sanity”.
Mind at Play: The Psychology of Video Games
I read the first book in my teens from the school library (TKSTS) when I was crazy writing games in the mid 80s. It didn’t teach me how to write games as far as programming languages were concern, but it explored what made people tick. What makes games compelling? Why do people play games? Back in those days, it was a gem, for it gave insights into how I could design the games I was writing to make it interesting and fun. Challenging and not insurmountable, rewarding and not trivial. How to get others hooked onto my game?
Now as a monk, I think back about that book and ponder about how there are much parallel between what the author discovered and shared in the book and what the Buddha taught 2500++ years ago. Understanding how people get hooked onto games, offers some insight into how people get hooked into other things and concerns. In turn, it helps me appreciate the Buddha’s teaching on how people can get unhooked, not just from games but also from the things and attachments that binds and bogs us down.
The Inmates Are Running the Asylum: Why High Tech Products Drive Us Crazy and How to Restore the Sanity
This is an interesting book I read when I was working in R&D as a software engineer in the late 90s. It explores Human-Computer-Interaction instead of Human-Computer-Interface. The crux of the book is about relooking computer software design, not as an after thought or bug fix, but as a key project goal. To design computer software, targeted at real user personas and not just code an app against a checklist of functions.
This is, to me, a must-read for any designers, computer or otherwise. The design tips goes beyond computer software applications and is equally applicable to other design fields as well.
The Asylum book is really a good design book to read. Maybe for those who are into designing, this book would be a fun read as well. For me, it was rather insightful and offered a fresh alternative approach towards software development.
Take a look, and let me know what you think.
Meanwhile, I’ve a pet project coming up for Vesak. 😉
n
http://www.amazon.com/Mind-Play-Psychology-Video-Games/dp/0465046096
http://www.amazon.com/Inmates-Are-Running-Asylum-Products/dp/0672326140