Bite-sized Dharma on the go!
Someone emailed me a question:
Hi shifu, can a gay person be ordained as a monk/nun?
I replied:
Thank you for writing.
Heterosexual men and women have to transcend their heterosexual desires if they are going to be ordained. Similarly, gay person can be ordained as a monk/nun, as long as this person can transcend this inclination.
Hope this clarifies.
With metta, ^_^
In which case, can such a person still be considered gay or heterosexual? Asexual perhaps?
Suki hontu! ^_^
What if I tell you that I am going to slap you when I see you? Never mind that I don’t really have a good reason to do so or that I don’t know who is reading this entry … unless you leave a comment.
Future Slap
Now, I have not slapped you yet. but already, you may start wondering why this crazy monk wants to slap you. Or you may start pondering on when I might really slap you. Perhaps you are already worrying about the slap and how painful or embarrassing it would be. You might even start to become upset at me or become afraid of me, because of the future slap that I *may* deliver to your rosy cheeks. All these occurring without me having slapped you just yet. I may end up giving you a pat or punch or nothing at all. But who knows?
Now, the only thing that has happened is really your reaction to the possibility of being slapped some time in the future. Maybe your reaction is justified, or maybe it is not. What is certain is that your reaction if at all, is the one thing affecting you. Each time you recall the statement “I am going to slap you”, and start going into a semi-uncontrolled spin of rumination and emotional acrobatics, you are giving yourself a slap, a mental slap at that.
Instead of doing that, when you notice that you mind has started on this cycle or even inclining towards it, be aware and
mindful of it. Mentally label it. => Say in your mind, labelling it “thinking, thinking, thinking.” Do this instead of diving into the thoughts and begin slapping yourself silly. Noting and labeling the mind that has wandered off thinking about things can interrupt the cycle while strengthening mindfulness. Bring it back to the present moment, wherever you are, whatever you are doing. Give your mind a rest.
Past Slap
Conversely, I may have already slapped you in the past, and each time you think about it, you get so upset. You wonder how anyone can be so rude and uncouthly, and you wonder why you did not prevented my slap with your karate block or something. When one dwells in this way, one becomes agitated and the mind spins once again into a mental rut, unable to extract itself out. When we do that, we are again slapping ourselves mentally. While the person slapped us once, we slap ourselves again and again whenever we go into that little corner, experiencing the stinging slap each time. We end up slapping ourselves more than what that person did.
Stop slapping ourselves. When you notice that the mind has started on this cycle or even inclining towards it, be aware and mindful of it. Do as mentioned above:
Note – Label the mental process of “Thinking” for 5 to 10 secs
Bring the mind back to the present moment, be it your breathe or whatever you are doing.
The same applies to pleasant experiences where we reminisce over the past. While this seem pretty harmless, it can unfortunately spin off into discontentment of the present and take us on an emotional roller-coaster ride. Similarly, if we start letting our mind wander to the future, of what would happen, may or what we would do or may do, the mind goes into an auto-pilot mode that more often than not lands in a ditch.
Break the Cycle
We can break the cycle. Wanting to break the cycle is important. Recognising that the faults of this cycle aligns ourselves in the right direction. Then we have to start doing something about it. Before we spin into such cycles, we train ourselves to be take care of our mind and be mindful of where it is going and what it is doing. We can do so by using mindfulness meditation to train ourselves. As we sit and watch the breathe, labelling it as it rises and fall, or as it goes in and out, we train the mind. As we do walking meditation, we learn to watch and be mindful of the walking. While doing that, we also start to be mindful of how the mind is so fleeting, even whilst we walk (or get on with our daily lives), like a leave in the wind, perpetually on the move.
But as we train and become more and more mindful, we are more easily aware when the mind has drifted. We then slow down the tendency to spin into those emotional ruts. Overtime, we tame the mind. What we do with it after that, is another blog entry.
In the meantime, go, go to the empty space, go to the empty room, go meditate. Or just close your eyes right now and where you are, just meditate, even for 5 secs, 5 mins or 50 mins.
Happy Thoughts ^_^
Based on a sharing with a visitor to the library yesterday, on how she can meditate.
Someone recently asked me about divinity lots found in KMSPKS:
Dear Venerable, I have a question about the divine sticks (qiu qian) at the old hall at Kong Meng San. Devotees will beg for divine advice from the three Buddhas and a piece of paper can be collected outside. Who are we communicating with? The message could sometimes be very clear, but some people will say that it is not Buddhism and mere superstition. I remember a story about Lord Buddha putting His bowl on the river; if the river flows upstream, he will strive to gain Enlightenment. So is this divine advice real? How do we make it real?
Here’s my short reply:
There is this belief that the Bodhisattvas or Dharma guardian help give guidance on worldly matters. Having some help in this way can be similar to asking an experienced friend or mentor for guidance, it can certainly be helpful.
Having said that, the Dharma (teachings) ultimately help us transcend the worldly gains and loss, such that we can still be happy amidst life’s greatest difficulties or trivial nuances.
Sui hontu! ^_^
To add to that, if a Buddhist learn this or go to the temple for this and only this purpose, then it would be a great loss for him! The real treasure in Buddhism lies in the Dharma (teachings) taught by the Buddha and the efficacy of the teachings in liberating us from our habitual tendencies and fed-ups in life.
Give a man a fish or some fried beehoon, and you feed him for a day or at least a meal.
Give the man a rod, … erm, better not, less he start fishing and killing fishes. Give the man or woman for that matter, some help to find a job through http://www.mom.gov.sg/profile-
gateways/Pages/job-seeker.aspx or upgrade their skills via http://www.mom.gov.sg/skills-training-and-development/Pages/default.aspx and he can secure a stable livelihood for awhile until the next recession. Rinse. Repeat.
Give the person Buddha Dharma, and he can develop inner peace and happiness even when hungry. With this inner peace and happiness, he can look for a job happily and not be grumpy and bitter. And when he finds a job, he is full of energy (viriya!) and vitality (indriya?) to fulfill and exceed what is expected of him! He earns his keep rightfully, without harming himself or others. He enjoys the fruits of his labour with his friends and family with open handed generosity, and sets aside a portion of his earnings for savings (rainy days), to support his parents, give to the charity and support Dharma work.
While he live as a lay person, he continues his study and practice of the Dharma under the guidance and mentor of the Maha Sangha. He lives his life not just devoted to his own pleasure but also for the benefit and welfare of others. If he do not attain to the very least certainty of Dharma (sotapanna), he has sown the seeds for further learning and progress. Living a life that incline towards goodness, the Buddha declares that the rebirth will be good, will be pleasant and happy.
EDIT:
Here’s my reply to facebook comments on cultural practices in Buddhist temples and monasteries:
Aircons are also not Buddhist practices, but most would quite readily use it to cool us down.
If the Master WuFong had stopped my Ah Ma from burning joss paper and other cultural practices, she may have went to some other non-buddhist temple to pray. Today, it may well be Priest Chuan Guan telling you about something else.
Dance and hiphop are also not Buddhist practices, but yet the younger generation Buddhists are very willing to use these as skillful means to appeal to the youths. Perhaps we have to bear in mind that different people of different generations have very different needs to fulfill before they may be ready to learn Dharma.
Below is my sharing with a Buddhist on coping with work related difficulties.
Thank you for replying and again sharing with me your present work life.
It sounds like you are having a tough time at work. I hope things will turn for the better for you. But before the situation including your boss change, let’s look at what we can do on our side.
There are many areas that we can look at, but for a start, we can look at two primary aspects of it. External (worldly, superficial, processes) and internally (spiritual well being, motivation, satisfaction etc).
I tend to like to help people solve their problems with the simplest solution where possible. This is most helpful to achieve short-term improvements but stress and problems may recur if the internal aspect is not improved and developed.
Jobscope
The only job scope is the one given by our boss. Yes we signed on the dotted line, yes, there is the contract, terms and conditions etc, but on the ground, our immediate superior can and usually would assign us tasks and projects etc as needed. If our job scope remains the same from day 1 till we retired 30 years later, that would not speak well of us would we? Do we also complain when the boss give us a raise or promotion?
On the other hand, does that mean that we should slog and sell our whole life to the company? No, we should not. While our boss can assign to us tasks and projects he deem necessary, it is up to us to decide whether we still want the job if the scope has changed so drastically.
Between the boss’ demands and our ability to fulfill the tasks, we have to find a balance that we are can breathe in. Sometimes the right thing to do is let a project fail if it is stretching the team too thin. Yes, you heard me right. Sometimes a minor setback in a project is better than a breakdown in YOU. You are not defined by the project you do. That is not who you are. We should be responsible for our work but not be solely defined and bounded by it. It is ok to fail.
Failure will let your boss and management know that it really does not work. While we should not sabotage the project, there is no reason to break ourselves just so that the project goes smoothly.
If the boss still fail to see that there is a flaw in the work arrangement, you may want to rethink whether this job is suitable.
(Sidenote: What is your job title?)
On the spiritual (internal) end, it is important to be able to maintain the internal peace and calm while we work. As long as we decide to continue working in the company, we have to be at work for 9 ~ 11 hours a day. Whether we do it happily or not, we are still bounded by contract and duty to do it.
From a bodhisattva path point of view, going to work can be an opportunity to help solve sentient beings’ problems and difficulty. Work is precisely that. It is about transforming different problems into simpler or a different one and passing that problem to another person who in turn do the same until it is simple enough to be solved. Instead of dreading to do work, a bodhisattva ‘work’ with a mindset of helping others solve their problems, removing their stress and fear. They also do that with the intention of creating positive Dharma links in order to fulfill the long term resolve of leading oneself and others towards Nirvana!
From an arahant-aspirant point of view, going to work can be an opportunity to earn a livelihood that is blameless and if possible be of positive impact on others. In the process, if there is defilements arising in oneself, then it becomes an opportunity to practise mindfulness and watch how the
defilements arise and how they cease. And through that process, reduce and eradicate defilements gradually.
It is good to chant Amitabha and Guanyin pusa’s name everyday. For one who does that, one resolves to apply mindfulness in one’s life. A Guanyin pusa’s disciple will try to have loving thoughts and compassion towards all he see, hear or encounter.
The chanting can help us get centred even at work. When you hear the phone ring, let it remind you like the Buddhist bells, a reminder to be mindful, to be mindful of the Buddha and pusa’s qualities that we resolve to develop in ourselves. A reminder to be mindful of our body, speech and mind.
About your fears, it may be good to speak in person.
Whenever you are free, you and your family are welcome to come to the Buddhist Library to receive blessings and guidance. To avoid disappointment, do call in advance.
Hope this help you tide through your tough time.
May you be guided and protected by the Buddha, Dharma and the Sangha!
Suki hontu! ^_^
基礎靜坐班 Basic Meditation class
(in Mandarin)
感受、心情在現代人而言是非常之重視，但在先進的新加坡都市卻很少提倡它們的認識及掌控。我們的人生是隨着心情與感受走，還是由智慧引導心情、感受與人生呢？
讓我們一起來學習認識感受、心情及內心世界。一起來學習佛陀所教授的禪修方法。
课程
十堂課 10 classes
每逢星期日Every Sunday 7:30 pm ~ 9:30 pm
九月十九日開課 Starting 19 September 2010
指导法師： 釋傳觀
报名 Registration
慈光福利协会 Metta Welfare Association
Please call Ms Doris Koh at 6580 4631
www.metta.org.sg
