Tag: Gratitude

Simple Year End Reflection

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Sunrise

As 2013 draws to a close, some of us may clearing their last quarter accounts for their work while others are wrapping up the year with some sale grabs.  For those who are working today, thank you for working to bring the rest of us life’s simple conveniences so that we may cross over to the next year with ease.

While the western calendar year end and New Year is not celebrated with as much festive fanfare as the Chinese New Year, in a way, it marks the closing of a chapter.  As the year draws to an end, take a deep breath and really let it fill your very being.  See how much you can take in and just hold it there for a moment.  And then let it out.  Let the breath out.  Feel it.  Go ahead.

We survived 2013.

For some of us, we experienced the joy of a new born in our family, for others the challenge of a new job, and yet for some it is the doldrums of every day life.  Together, we all saw several events that awed and shook the
world.  From the meteors over Russia, to the resignation of Pope Benedict and election of Pope Francis who champions frugality; from the Snowden leaks to the haze that brought Singapore into a frenzy for N95 (not the phone!); from several freakish once-in-50-years torrential rains to breakdowns in MRT lines … … what a year!

We were devastated by nature through the typhoon “Haiyan” that hit our brothers and sisters in Philippines and Vietnam even as China conquers it by launching and landing on the moon in December, their Chang’e 3 (嫦娥三号) robotic lander spacecraft and Yutu (玉兔, Jade Rabbit) lunar rover.

Some of us lost our loved ones, others welcomed new ones into their fold.  Not all of these appear in the news, but all these matter to us nonetheless.  I’ve been privileged to be present with some of you, to accompany you through those tough moments, and I want all of you to know that we are here for you.

2013 was also especially tough for some of us who may have suffered injustice or hurt.  Regardless of how much hardship or wrong we have experienced, let us try and find forgiveness for those who may have harmed or hurt us, intentionally or unintentionally.  For forgiveness removes the weight in our heart and frees us from the burden of grudge.

The other burden is that of guilt.  Maybe we are the one at fault, then apologise and make peace.  Sometimes it is not possible to do so, then start with coming clean with a family member, a close friend or confidant, your spiritual teacher or guide, or whichever divinity your heart speaks to.  Reflect on how our past actions are less than ideal or plain wrong and also consider how we acted in those ways given certain habits, mindsets and circumstances.  We do this not to give ourselves excuses but to know deeply that we are capable of more than that.

We are capable of change.

Part of making peace with our past is really to make a firm resolve to change ourselves so that we don’t repeat those acts again.  Instead of simply feeling guilt-stricken or remorseful to the point of depression, identify the factors that led to those deeds and resolve to first change one’s mindset, avoid those factors when not yet ready, then apply effort to not repeat those actions even when the circumstances present themselves again!

And lastly, look back at the achievements we have had this year.  Reflect on the conditions and individuals who made it possible.  Be thankful!  Consider the very simple things in our life, and reflect on how our simple life is made possible through the inconveniences of many many others!

A grateful person is a happy person!

Wishing all good health and peace for the new year!  Happy 2014! ^.^

 

The Story of Seven Buns 七個包子的故事

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There were two friends called Xiao Ming and Xiao Hua. Xiao Ming was really hungry, so they decided to get something to eat.

Xiao Ming ate the second bun … but was still hungry. So Xiao Hua ordered another one for him.

Xiao Ming ate the third bun … but was still hungry. So Xiao Hua ordered another one for him.

Xiao Ming ate the fourth bun … but was still hungry. So Xiao Hua ordered another one for him.

Xiao Ming ate the fifth bun … but was still hungry. So Xiao Hua ordered another one for him.

Xiao Ming ate the sixth bun … but was still hungry. So Xiao Hua ordered another one for him.

Xiao Ming ate the seventh bun … and was finally full!

“*Phew*” … thought Xiao Hua … “didn’t know that he can eat that much! ;p”

But Xiao Ming was starting to appear a bit perplexed.

“What’s wrong?” Xiao Hua asked.
“I was just thinking … ” Xiao Ming replied “I became full after eating the seventh bun.”

“Yes … ” Xiao Ming offered … wondering if that was a hint for an eighth!

“So why didn’t we just get the seventh bun for me? I mean, I could have eaten the seventh bun and be full already!”

“Don’t be silly Xiao Hua! You became full after eating the seventh bun only because you ate the first six buns!” countered smartie Xiao Hua.

“Really? I could have sworn I was not full at all when I ate the first six, but I am full, now that I ate the seventh! … … ” quipped Xiao Hua.

Before Xiao Ming could further his analysis and spin his usual rhetoric, Xiao Hua dragged him out of the bun shop named “The seven-bun shop”.

My friend, think about a skill or ability that you have. It can be something trivial or something amazing. It can be unique or it
can be common. But it must be something you have. Got it? Good.

Now, answer this question.

Were you born with this skill or ability? If you answered yes, I’m not talking about your ability to give silly answers! :p
ok, so try to recall how you acquired this ability. Who was there to help you learn it? What resources did you need back then? Who helped you acquire the resources? You got it yourself? Who gave or sold it to you?

Now, how was it that you were able to learn this ability either from a person, a book or the web? Would you be able to do so if you did not understand the language used? You would not be able to even understand whatever is written in this article if you did not learn the English language.

So learning English was a pre-requisite to learning the above ability. Apply the same reflection on the English language. Go through slowly and deeply.

For most of us, you will find that practically all the abilities we have today are the result of not just our own effort, but the culmination of our own effort and that of many many many individuals, organisations, resources and many others that we were and perhaps still are oblivious to.

When we reflect on our achievements today, we may be grateful to one or two or a few individuals in our lives. But as we reflect deeply, we realise that we are like “Xiao Ming” in our little story above, attributing our “fullness” success to the last bun / person / group etc. In fact, the intricate web of inter-connected dependencies can only be modelled or abstracted mostly, and even then, we would realise that our very simple life really depends on many many many individuals to make it possible.

Today, we celebrate Teachers’ Day. Those who teach in classes and those who don’t. Those who teach us directly and those who teach us indirectly. Like the seven buns in the story, all the people in our lives has taught us something along the way, culminating in what and who we are today. We should learn from Xiao Hua in the story, and be grateful to all the numerous teachers in our lives. For it is not just the seventh bun that quell our hunger.

In Majjhima Nikaya 24, Ratha-vinita sutta – Relay Chariots, Ven. Sariputta and Ven. Punna goes through a similar analysis on the seven forms of purities with each leading to the next, but not any one particular solely responsible for total Unbinding, Nibbana. A parable is given by Ven. Punna involving King Pasenadi Kosala travelling between Savatthi and Saketa using seven relay chariots. Again, it is not solely with any one particular relay chariots, but through all the seven that the King is able to travel between the two cities. It is after this parable that the sutta was named.

So, my friend, take a closer look at your life. Reflect on the ‘buns’ you have eaten that helped you become ‘full’. Remember with gratitude, the ‘teachers’ who have taught you and helped you grow and mature.

We are indebted to many individuals, friends and strangers, large, medium and small, seen and unseen, near and far. To them, we owe much.

With love and compassion, gratitude and joy in our heart for all out there, Happy Teachers’ Day!

New 23 May 2013
References

Remembering and Honouring the Departed During Qing Ming 清明节

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Today is the official day for Qing Ming 清明节, a day (or period) where Chinese would traditionally remember their ancestors by visiting the cemetery and perform religious services for them.

A student from the English Dharma Class at SBF (Singapore Buddhist Federation) asked me what practices Buddhists should be observing during this day or period.  Below are my thoughts on it.

Buddhists rightly speaking should spend Qing Ming recollecting the kindness of our forefathers, and honouring them by remembering how they may have lived a blameless life or have conducted themselves in a manner worth emulating.  One could then
try emulating their good deeds or perform charity in their name!  Further, we can also emulate the holy ones who have come before us by observing the eight or five precepts.  With all the positive merits accrued, one can then make a sincere wish, dedicating merits to them, wishing them well and having good conditions to learn the Dharma!

In addition, we can and should reflect on how, while we depended on our parents and forefathers for helping in bringing us into human rebirth, they, including many others, have also in some ways helped us in our lifes and made it possible.  Just consider how someone in modern society do not make any raw product themselves; we depend on many many faceless strangers to bring us the clothes we wear and food we eat daily.  We also live in houses and apartments that are more often than not built by foreign workers whom we would never get to meet in our life, and whom we depend our lifes on.  We can reflect on how our modern life is possible because of the contribution of hundreds, thousands and millions of people out there, working, ekking out a living.

But I paid for it, one may protest.  It is easy to think that once we pay for a service or product, we do not owe others anything.  While money is part of the equation, we often overlook how we owe it to the support and hardwork of the innumerable nameless and frequently faceless workers in order for our money to have any use or value at all.  To these people, we owe them their time, labour and youth making our life possible the way it is.  Our life is convenient as a result of their inconveniences.

Finally, we should also reflect on the Samyutta Nikaya 15.14-19 Mata sutta (Mother), where the Buddha shares his insight on how we have wandered on in samsara since beginningless times, and that it is not easy to find someone whom we have not been related to before.  Everyone is related to us in some way before!

In this way, we can reflect on how we are interdependent on each other so loosely, and yet so intimately.  From there, we can develop deep gratitude towards both people who are close to us, and those who once seemed to be complete strangers.  Within this deep gratitude, then the self-centric tendency may be gradually worn away and our hearts and mind may open up to others, and truly care for them.  In this way, we pay tribute and respect to all our forefathers from this life and the past, and repay their deep kindness meaningfully.

That is how we can all honour the departed during Qing Ming, whether as Buddhists or non-Buddhists.

So how did you spend Qing Ming this year?